Well, we’ve made it through our first year of being parents! Wow, what a ride is all I can say. There is nothing that could have prepared me enough for this last year. The funny thing is that I thought I kinda knew it all, HA!!
It was been by far the most difficult and at the same time greatest year of our lives. I say difficult because I didn’t realize we would be entering boot camp those first few months. I didn’t realize how selfish I was and that selfishness was going to be ripped out of me and quickly! I didn’t realize how much one could hurt simply from being so tired! I didn’t realize how the minute we brought Brod home we lost every bit of “knowledge” we thought we had with parenting and how dumb we became. We truly felt like helpless puppies just learning to swim just by watching each other (I kinda feel this will be life from here on out though). In all honesty I really didn’t enjoy or even like being a mom the first 9 weeks. Mix in sleep depravity and a bit of post part-um depression, but I really felt like a failure. All moms would quickly tell me how great being a mom was and the joys that came from it. I felt like a failure because I wasn’t experiencing what those moms were talking about. I just kinda really longed for having my husband back and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. I’ve come to realize something though all of this. I don’t feel like moms in general really share about the lows parts of being a parent, the not so glamorous sides of it. When I finally began sharing my feelings with some close friends they quickly went into the millions of tears they shed those early weeks also. I couldn’t believe it!! I was believing a lie, really that Satan had placed to take me down, that made me feel inadequate as a mom. As soon as I began believing the truth life got lots better. Not because Brod mysteriously began sleeping through the night, because he was the same baby. It was because I knew I could do it, I finally believed in myself to me a good mom.
I also say it was the greatest year of our lives because the Lord has beyond blessed us with the sweetest little boy whom we’ve gotten the opportunity to watch grow up to this little man. We’ve gotten to experience his first smiles, giggles, rolling over, crawling, walking and oh so much more! We get to teach, lead and guide him (a bit scary also.) I’ve loved being able to start sharing with him Bible stories and telling him about the Lord, praying with him at night and singing worship songs. Mike and I go to bed at night just in awe of the amount of love we have for that kid. I love, love, love being a mom and am so excited to continue to grow our family J
Something that has surprised me the most this year has been my continued desire to work outside the home. I love being a nurse! I kinda thought by now I would be contemplating staying at home but instead am thinking how can I keep working with two kids. Yes, the extra money is nice but I love getting out of the house. I really don’t think the Lord wired me to be a stay at home mom. I’m a better mom and wife when I get to take a “break” from being a mom and have adult conversations with my patients and my co-workers. I’m thankful to also have a supportive husband who desires me to do what I desire.
What a year of being a student and learning what it is to be a parent. I know we’ve only scratched the surface of having any bit of knowledge, but we’ve made it a year!! The Lord is good and His mercies are great! We are ready to tackle round 2 and become dumb again in 6 months…..oh heavens…!!!!
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