Grandpa

I love being a daughter of Jesus. I love being known by Him and my deepest prayer is that all of our kiddos will one day decide to follow Him also. Today my sweet Grandpa left us to go be with Him in all His glory. I celebrate in knowing he has heard those words, "Well done good and faithful servant." I celebrate in knowing he is right now bowing before Jesus, I celebrate also knowing that he is in no more pain, all his sickness and pain are gone. 

The selfish part of me, however, is grieving uncontrollably as I find myself a upset with the Lord. I've found myself these last few weeks questioning God's plan. I find myself wanting so badly to know why. Why did he have to take our Grandpa? Did he make a mistake? This wasn't supposed to happen, not like this, not ever, he is my Grandpa! I call these my David moments. In the book of Psalms David shares his deepest sorrows and his extreme joy. He doesn't hold back telling the Lord how upset he is with Him but also doesn't hold back with how happy he is also. 

In the midst of this bone hurting pain, the endless tears and the confusion, I will continue to cling not to what my flesh tells me but  to the words that are treasured in my heart, "Lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge me and I will direct your paths", "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." I will continue to shout from the top of my lungs, "Great is Your faithfulness, Your mercies are new everyday!" I don't get this at all and frankly yes, I'm pissed that I will never get to have my Grandpa's arms around me on this side of heaven, but I KNOW that He is good, He is good, He is good! Jesus You are good! I'm thankful we've had these few weeks of saying goodbye. I'm thankful Meghan and I were able to go up to Iowa earlier this week and spend hours next to Grandpa's bed. I'm thankful we got to sing around him, pray around him, read scripture around him, reminisce, look at countless pictures and laugh over some great memories. And I'm so thankful I got to witness first hand the incredible love and devotion my Grandma has shown to her husband of 55 plus years. She hasn't left his side. Her hand has been constantly on him for the last few weeks. What a wonderful and perfect example of "though sickness and health" she has shown. 

We will leave early Sunday morning to return back to Iowa to begin Grandpa's celebration of life. Please pray for safety for everyone traveling in from Colorado, Oklahoma and Wisconsin. Below is one of many priceless pictures we took of Grandma and Grandpa. Gosh, he is so missed!